December 2011
20 posts
I know it's supposed to be pretty simple, but I...
I have some new pillows
and they’re likely the best I’ve ever had. They are adorned with two uncharacteristically green pillow cases I bought impulsively.
I didn’t really expect to feel this way today… a bit melancholic, perhaps? I’m not sure how I was supposed to react. I can’t help that it hurt. That much is not my fault.
I leave for work before I can see that
it’s snowing. And the roads are wet, but not slick. It’s still before 7:00am by the time I reach my office. I’m feeling terribly anxious in the dimly lit room. I start to clean up my office, finish an OTR, fill out some HAPS forms, fix a report, sign for some notes, and write an intake from five days ago.
I blink and it’s after nine. I had aspirations of staying...
It feels so late,
but it’s not even 7:00pm. For some reason or another, I’m listening to the Bronx’s third self-titled album and I still have terrible writer’s block. And a lot of it might be because everything is going okay. I have a tendency to write better and feel more creative when things aren’t working out or I have something to be upset over. So I guess being able to write...
I sleep very little
and I’m ready to leave for Chloe’s by eight. We park at Van Duyn and walk for an hour. Our noses are numb, but I can still feel her lips when she smilingly kisses me. She’s laughing a lot and it feels good to see and hear.
I make breakfast and forget to take my pills until I shower. At noon, I will be with Chloe and my mother getting groceries and trying to keep calm in the...
There is a thick fog at 6:30am and
I’m nearly driving blind. I yawn a few times on the way to work and finish an intake report and a few OTRs. I blink and it’s almost one in the afternoon. I’m clinging to the chance that my three o’clock won’t show up and I’ll be able to go home to just lay down and think to myself.
I’m encouraged by the prospect of developing and leading my own...
I need another bookcase.
Well, I have more bookcases than a 25 year old man should probably have in his bedroom. In all fairness, though, two off them are half bookcases. If I could just turn one of them into a full bookcase, I’ll be set.
For a little while.
And that’s what Chloe will likely adore and sigh (only because she’s annoyed) at.
I watch a bit of Morning Joe while I eat my oatmeal and even...
Retain; belief
After another 11 hour day, I’m home again in the living room. A Christmas movie plays in the background, but all I can concentrate on is getting through tomorrow. I turn the television off and try to imagine myself a year from today.
I’m feeling somewhat lonely tonight.
I'm in the market for a TARDIS.
I’m not really concerned with its condition. I have a girlfriend that’s good with remodeling.
Form; expense
At five in the morning, the only thing moving is the wind. Everyone is hiding from the world under their blankets, watching their alarm clocks. Admittedly, I would much rather be hiding, but I can’t afford it anymore. I can’t afford to hide and make excuses. And so I’m up moving about with music in my ears, panting down Pike Street and waiting for something with headlights to...
Seating; barefeet
I’m finished wrapping every Christmas present I’ve accumulated since early November. I crack the window to let some fresh, cold air into my bedroom and I can hear kids playing on my block. I’m feeling more nostalgic than most days, listening to The Photo Album and thinking about my Guinevere.
I’m a week into a new life and everyday I’m able to name something...
Provider; trace
I’m at work as early as usual making a cup of coffee and starting paperwork and finishing treatment plans. Most of my day will be spent trying to find something to occupy my time until my 3:00pm intake comes in. Next week, my schedule has filled up rapidly. I’ll be wishing I had nothing to do.
Chloe bought me a book that I had wanted. “The Moral Lives of Animals.” I...
Deposition; setting
In my office, the people in my hallway laugh at how dimly my room is lit. And at the end of the day, they complain about their headaches. I can hear the hum of the fluorescent lights from their offices.
I eat rice and a pear for lunch at my desk as I type out appointment notes and print assessments and evaluations and whatever other reports need printed for my clients’ files. The sky is...
2 tags
Periphery; lull
It occurred to me that I’ll be getting married in less than a year. I really don’t want to see the person that I am in my wedding pictures. The thought is terrifying, really. And so today was the first day that I started over.
The weekend was tremendous and I’m starting to get used to having those fun and comforting days to look forward to at the end of my work week. I wake...